“You shouldn’t put your eggs in one basket.”
A phrase that I have heard and continued to think about….
There is a lesson here where your eggs should be evenly spread and most importantly in your own basket.
I did put all emphasis in love, belonging and trust in one soul person, and that was my ex-husband.
When it was taken away it felt like I had lost absolutely everything, it even felt like I had lost myself, my identity. I put my heart and soul into building a family and a relationship, I forgot myself and didn’t put myself first.
When it is then taken away from you, there was a loss of purpose of what do I do now? Who am I? Why did this happen? All the questions once more…
This is one thing I have learnt about myself, that I needed to understand who I was whilst all the changes were happening around me. I had to start quietening my low inner dialogue of myself and actually start loving myself. Doing things that I love to do and making space for me.
Forgiving myself for the choices I had made and how I handled them in the past.
I find the boundary of selfishness hard as I grew up knowing that selfishness isn’t positive, but actually it really is when its taken to caring about yourself.
Selfishness to me is building on making sure you are ok, that way you can then take care of others. This is how I feel about my son, if mama is ok then everything can be handled more effectively.
To be authentic to who you are and not forcing to change to think that another way would be better. You are what you are seeking to be, don’t betray yourself looking for what you think you ‘should’ be just because of your situation or how society is these days.
The example of when you must put your oxygen mask on first in an aeroplane emergency before helping others or else you become useless to help. You haven’t taken care of yourself. This is the same in life.
My reality now is being able to share my basket, and stopping my cynicism. I have my basket of eggs for myself, for my family, for my friends. To put trust into sharing that basket with a loved one can scare me, but I feel it’s a risk I’m willing to take. I can take the risk as I wont put all my eggs into that one soul basket. I have learnt so much from my past behaviour.
Be true to yourself and don’t betray yourself on who you actually are.
Open your mind to new possibilities, open your heart and be brave in this journey.
….these never ending lessons of life