Self-aware of where do I get validation from? Number one answer you must get it from is….YOU ultimately! Yup sounds easy…not so easy it turns out.
On this road of discovery I’ve encountered that I am what we call a “people pleaser”… pleaser of the people! Ah sounds nice, sometimes not so beneficial.

I get a lot out of the relationships I have made with friends and family and especially partners. I think since going through such a journey you reflect and look back on your behaviours. I felt uplifted when someone was proud of me or liked the way I did things. I am very critical on myself and have been for years, so hearing someone else’s words made me tell myself

“see you are good enough…see you are ok….you do actually know what you’re doing!”
..it validated my thoughts, reasons and decisions. If they thought I was doing well I MUST be doing well! To a certain degree this is a good thing to receive from loved ones, however when turned into the only reason you make decisions its then unfolded.

Trust in yourself. Ok this sounds lovely but HOW?

It is a nice human emotion to feel connected to people and for agreements to happen within all subjects of the world. However it is ok to not agree with people and it doesn’t link to failure but a simple matter of opinion. And that is ok. My downfall or realisation of myself is that I found it linked to love and failure within me. If someone didn’t agree I would first question myself

“oh is that not the right way?…oh did I actually do it?….oh I thought that’s what I did?…oh wait now I’m confused”

and second I store it as an act of them not caring or thinking of me, I took it personally.

This has inevitably sent me down some wrong avenues for my self-worth. Relying on approval of others rather than listening to myself and trusting in my decisions and thoughts.

Who is important to you? Redefine who is and create reassurance from those you validate yourself. Getting drawn into other people’s opinions that aren’t important to you is wasted energy.

Stay true to who you are and trust in yourself 🦋